Before starting an international relationship, do you have a jolly single life?
Many people believe that being in a relationship is definitely better than being single. I remember 13 years ago, I went to an event for single ladies where the so-called expert told me that being in a relationship is certainly, absolutely better than being single. Interestingly, I met my ex-partner 1 hour after that event and stayed married for a few years, but eventually we broke up. When I was still married, one incident started to make me realize that I should probably get divorced. While that was happening, I told one of my friends about it, and she said, “I believe that being in a relationship is surely better than being single.” But in that moment, what she said appeared to be different from what that so-called expert said because my experience had already told me otherwise. Frankly, that incident didn’t make me actually leave my ex; what happened after that made me leave my ex, for a series of incidents reinforced the new outcome. As an individual who has experienced both married life and single life, I would like to share my thoughts on the raw truth about being in a relationship and being single. Hopefully this blog post will help you before you find a satisfying international relationship.
It’s actually possible to feel very fulfilled or totally miserable in any state between being a relationship and going solo.
Athough the mainstream culture tells everyone that when you meet the one, your life will make complete sense at last. A typical cultural story even says life doesn’t have meaning without a relationship/children.
For a very long time, I thought I must lock down a long-term relationship by a certain age in order to prove my worth until I realize that whatever other people think about doesn’t really matter. What’s more, other people very rarely think about me.
In truth, once you figure out how to enjoy being single and make the most of your single life, you probably wouldn’t even care about finding a partner unless she actually brings good value to your freedom-filled, enjoyable and exciting single life.
Dating is important because it brings joy to you, not because you fear being single. Therefore, just because you are single, you don’t really have to date. When you have this mindset, dating anxiety is gone, so you can thoroughly explore every passion completely guilt-free and like every moment of your single life which is best characterized by a large amount of highly valuable free time! You can travel. You can read books. You can start a new hobby. You can change your career! You are not responsible for another person’s life when you are single.
Trust your intuition.
Your gut feeling is always right. Last year I attended a job interview. Logically, that job was the right job for me: the right industry (that’s something that I was trained to do), the right location (it’s only a 10-minute walk from my place) and the right salary that I couldn’t complain about. However, throughout that job interview experience, my gut feeling told me that it was the wrong job for me. It turns out that the employer’s intuition also told her that I wasn’t really interested in that job, so the ending was pretty clear: I’m not working for that organization.
If you are single and dating, please be smart about what you do because so many people waste lots of time and energy pursuing bad leads – they date people who don’t even invest in them; they spend days waiting for text messages back only to receive nothing; they chase relationships with those who merely want validation.
My advice for those who are looking for international relationships is if you want to enjoy dating, you would be well-advised to listen to your intuition and trust your gut feeling more than you listen to what you would like to be true.
If you are not sure whether you are dating the right person, please ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I genuinely attracted to her?
- Do I truly like her and respect the way she lives her life?
- Does she treat me absolutely well and make me feel very special?
- Do we actually have the same blueprint for the future?
Truthfully, your gut already knows the answers. Usually, your gut knows where you should go, but it’s not easy to follow your gut feeling. Anyway, you still have to have the important conversation with your gut and take action accordingly.
“Single men would benefit from trusting their intuition.”